Wedding Planning Wednesday: 21 questions (times 5)

Today’s Wedding Planning Wednesday comes by way of a fantastic quick read, Don’t You Get Married Until You Ready This! The Book of Questions for Couples. The author of the book developed a fantastic list of 100 questions that you should ask your significant other before you get married (and yes he wrote a book about this that has more than five pages in it).  I ran through the list with Sunny, and even though we’ve been married a little over a year, I was very surprised at some of his answers! We pulled a few questions from various categories and have posted them below. For a complete list read:  Don’t You Get Married Until You Read This! The Book of Questions for Couples by Corey Donaldson.

The Future

  • How did your family resolve conflicts when you were growing up? Do you approve or disapprove of that method? what will you change or not change to resolve conflicts in your future family?
  • Is there anything about marriage that frightens you?
  • Would you prefer to live in the city, the country, or by the beach? Why?
  • If I wanted to move away from our families for work, would you support me?
  • How would it affect you if I travel on my own frequently to (1) visit family, (2) earn income, (3) pursue a hobby, or (4) deal with stress?
  • How will you support my hobbies?
  • How do you feel about having our parents come to live with us if the need arises?
  • Is there anything you would regret not being able to do or accomplish if you married me?
  • How will we schedule holidays with our families?

Children

  • Do you want children?
  • If we are unable to have children, should we adopt?
  • Do you anticipate raising our children (1) the same way you were raised (2) completely differently from the way you were raised (3) a mixture of both?
  • How long would you like to wait before having children?
  • Other than formal schooling, what types of education will our children get and how will they receive them?
  • What types of discipline would you implement to correct a child’s or a teenager’s behavior? Were these practices you experiences or are they new ones you have developed on your own?

Finance

  • What justifies going into debt?
  • What are all your current personal debts?
  • Do you feel stress when facing financial problems? How do you deal with that stress?
  • How often do you use credit cards, and what do you buy with them?
  • How should we prepare for a financial emergency?
  • Do you feel that lack of money is a good reason not to have children?
  • When our child is born, will he or she go to daycare or will one of us stay home to take care of the child? Who will it be?
  • Will we have a budget?
  • Who will pay the bills?
  • How do you feel about helping me pay my debts?
  • What are your feelings about saving money?
  • Do you prefer separate bank accounts or assets in different names? Why?

Communication

  •  Whenever we have difficult feelings about each other, should we (1) remain silent, (2) say something as soon as the difficult feelings arise, (3) wait a certain amount of time before raising the issue, or (4) do something else? If so, what? (Editors note: When marrying a woman – her remaining silent is not an option)
  • If you say you are going to do something but never do it, what is the most effective way to bring this problem to your attention?
  • What did you admire about the way your mother and father treated each other?
  • What is the best way for me to communicate difficult feelings about you so that you are not offended?
  • Who should know bout the arguments we have?
  • What makes you not want to talk to me?
  • Do you feel you could communicate with me under any circumstance and about any subject?

We hope you found these questions to be as helpful and insightful as we did!

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